okay i just read over the last entry i mad and can understand why it would confuse people. well so on sunday night the guy i liked broke everything off, but then monday night we were talking online and i found out the reason he had was because he listened to what a couple of his friends had been saying (which just to let you know one of them had something with him last year and the other one really really likes him), but anyways he said he felt really bad and he wish he didn't break it off because he still really likes me but he doesn't want to be selfish about it because i am moving in less then a week and he doesn't want me to get hurt. but i still really want to be with him and i said i was willing to take that risk. so we made a promise to be friends no matter what happens and now we are back together. we are just letting things go with the flow and we will see how things work out once i move. but i just have to say i am keeping my fingers crossed. well im out for now. talk to ya'll later.

boys confuse me

okay this is short and sweet i am going to risk it and be with him and we will figure it out from there. at this point in time i personally think guys are stupid, but i like him too much to let him go. even if it means only being with him till next tuesday....im willing to risk it. well i got to go to bed. ill tell ya more later.

mo

Heaven on Earth

I seriously think I have found some place that can be called Heaven on Earth. Wild Horses Canyon is the most amazing place. It is in Eastern Oregon and sits in the middle of no where. It took us 5 1/2 hours to get there but it was worth the drive. We left Albany a little after four and drove up to salem to pick up some of the people that were up there at the basketball game. Once we had met up with them we went to Jack in a Crack for dinner. After we ate we took off for camp. I got to ride in Sten's Hummer and let me tell you that was fun. We got to watch the Spongebob Movie and jam out to music. We also played freeze out, that was interesting.

We got there close to 10:30 and got everything in our room then went to club at 11. For those of you who don't know club is like young lifes equivelent to a youth group session. The speaker there this weekend was an amaing guy. He was the speaker I had when I went to Twin Rocks with young life at the beginning of the school year and he was just as good this time. But it was a late night and I didn't get to bed till close to 3. Then we were all up at 7:30. When we had gotten to camp it was dark and I was tired so I didn't notice the size. Saturday morning when I went outside I saw just how huge the camp was. There is a lake that they have open in the summer with a zip line and a blob, and a pool. They also have this major rope course that is up off the ground and you have never seen a sports center till you go there. It was huge. This building has rock climbing, 3 basketball courts, 3 volleyball courts, several pool tables, couple foosball tables, a relaxing area, and a work out area. It was amazing. The outer perimeter of the camp is about a 3 mile loop. But I figured out a lot about myself this weekend and grew closer to God this weekend. One of the seminars I went to Saturday morning was a girls seminar and it really got to me because it helped me to figure out some stuff on dating and guys. It was just an amazing weekend.

But this weekend I just broke down and talked to two of my leaders for awhile. But we had club so we went to that and I guess my eyes were all blotchy and Steve, who is like my big brother, noticed and while we were waiting to get into clube he just gave me a hug and put his arm around my shoulder and just told me everything would be okay. Then after we had clube we had a prayer thing and then Steve and I went for a walk around part of the edge of the camp. It was nice to just talk to him and see what was going on in his life and to just talk to someone and not be judged by it. We were late to the worship thing that started at 11:15 because we were walking aroung. But I am really glad I walked with him because I felt so much better. But yesterday the ride home was so much fun. David hooked up his iPod and jammed out to everything from 70's music to popular stuff today. It was a lot of fun. But it was sad last night because the Seahaks lost. Not that I am surprised that they did but I was still sad. lol.

But last night pretty much sucked. Last night the guys I have been pretty much dating other then the fact that we hadn't made it official called me last night. Apprently his friends were telling him he changed since we had started hanging out and how he should ask out a junior who really liked him. And he over analyzed it and told me last night that he still likes me but he never meant for things with us to go this far and just wants to stop and that he regrets it. Then after he tells me all this he asked me what I wanted for Valentines. Am I the only one who thinks that is a bit on the mixed signal side of things? But I was in tears all night last night and got like three hours of sleep, but today I went and talked to my counselor and she said that I had two choices, wallow in self pity or be nice to him say everything is good and go on being friends. And it will be hard but that is what I am going to do. I finally talked to him today after school after giving him the cold shoulder all day. But we are going to Valentines this weekend that should be interesting since Jessica and Lee are going with us. But I am crossing my fingers and hoping for the best.

But right now I need to go eat because it is Disco Night tonight at young life and I got my hideous 70's shirt that Steve and I went and got today after school becasue neither one of us had anything. I have to say I love goodwill sometimes. Well I am going to go. Leave me a comment. Love ya all.