adam and eve

So this is what i want to know, if the world was once perfect does that mean we didn't feel pain? Does that mean that love didn't have to hurt? If so then man do i want to have a word with Adam and Eve when i get to heaven.

My heart is still in pieces because of love leaving me with pand and hurt. I am afraid to let go because there is a chance he might still care and if I move on I could be losing something great. But moving on means that i can trust someone else not to hurt me, only problem is that my trust issues were pretty much shot last time. So I don't know if i can stand that either.

I said I wouldn't cry over him anymore but I miss him but I don't like him anymore....if that makes any sense. But somedays there is no ache over everything that has happened while other days, like today, I cannot get him out of my head and I miss what was, when things were simple.

So why did Adam and Eve have to eat from the tree. I mean my live would be so much easier. Because now all i feal is an ache inside of me.

mo

school sucks!!!

well so much for being excited about going back to school. so far it has pretty much sucked. lol. well i guess that would be school for you. and i guess excited would be the wrong word. i was excited to be able to see my friends up here....school i so didn't want to go back too. but now i could really care less about the people too. they aren't how i remember them. ever since the new freshman have showed up everything has gone to pot.

but i guess that would be my life. oh well. crap seems to happen in my life. you start to get used to it after awhile. but on the positive side i have met some really great new people. alyssa is in my band class and during the football game last weekend she introduced me to a bunch of her friends and they are great. i have alyssa and billy in my spanish class which makes spanish pretty dang fun....whoa that was something i thought i would never say. anyways...i have some really good classes with great teachers and some crappy classes because the teachers are...not so great. but you can't get all the good teachers because that wouldn't be fair.

well i got a lot on my mind so i am going to go write for a little while. if anyone reads this i love you. take care of yourself

mo

wow...its been awhile

first of all i am really sorry that i haven't updated in a long time. there has just been a lot going on. this summer has been really hard for me but in a good way. it has been pretty amazing. who knew that when everything goes wrong you can find good in it. God is so amazing. somehow he made everything okay for me. i have had some great friends this summer that have been amazing for me. they have been there for me when i really need them and of course my brother. he always a phone call away, no matter what he is there.

it has been a rough couple of months. the guy i thought was the love of my life broke my heart...into many many pieces. i am surprised i didn't get dehydrated because i cried so much. who knew one person could have so many tears. but surprisingly now i am somewhat happy. between my tyler and my dad and everything else that has gone wrong this summer i have learned that there is always some good. one of my friends from albany has pretty much texted me everyday and we have gotten together several times to hang out and watch movies and i have to say i love him for that. and then there are my church friends, they have been great and i owe them so much. if it wasn't for them i think i would have crawled into a pretty dark place.

but as for guys i have decided they make better friends then boyfriends at this age because most of them tend to be way to imature to have a relationship. unless i find that one guy that i think truly cares and will make an effort and i am willing to do the same i am okay being single. it is almost nice. lol. but we will see how things go. because right now i need to focus a little more on fixing myself before i can try dealing with a relationship and doing all the the things that make it work.

but other then that, things are a lot better now. school is about to start.....YUCKY!!!!.....but atleast i will get to see all the crazy people i go to school with. i am kind of excited to see what my classes are like. hopefully they will be okay. i really don't want to get stuck in some horrible class with a bad teacher. cause i seem to have that luck. lol. but now i have updated and so now you can comment me. love ya all