INVINCIBLE

you don't know how precious life is until something traumatic happens. as teenagers we seem to thing we are invincible but we aren't. i have a friend who i did high jump with this year. she is an amazing person and is a senior at my school. last night her seven year old brother was playing outside and when the ball got away form him he went running after it. but at that exact moment the neighbor was backing out and didn't see him. he died. this year hasn't been the best year in the way of deaths. the hard thing about this is that i didn't just know her. i knew her little brother. after i was done high jumping i would sit with him and we would talk and watch his sister high jump. i guess life is much more fragile then we thought. i guess i was just writing this so that everyone that reads this will remember to live every day to the fullest and be glad you made it through another day because you don't know what day is going to be your last.

on a much more positive note tyler and i have been going out for two months today. just thought i would let you all know.

lost

i keep reading all of my friends blogs and they seem so in depth. i almost feel selfish at times because i just talk about my problems. though sometimes i feel that this is the only way i can express myself because then i don't have to worry about saying it outloud.

things have been so messed up lately. i didn't know what lonely was until my parents started using me to get back at the other one. it really hurts. it seems like sometimes no one cares. i love being able to help people, but for once i wish that someone could help me, save me from all of the problems. i don't know what to do anymore. i have met a couple of really great people at west linn, but they aren't brianna or tyler or evan. i can't forget them. though sometimes it seems like they have forgotten me and i don't blame them. it has to be hard for them holding on when i live 70 some miles away. i guess that is partly why i was so shocked when tyler asked me out. it was so something i didn't expect. i didn't think he would ever do that and i didn't think he would especially after i moved. it was just so out of the blue, but it has been so great.

for the first time in a long time i feel safe. he makes me feel safe and beautiful and cared about. all of my close friends love me, and i think if it wasn't for them i would have lost my mind. things have been so screwy up here that withought the craziness of ty, bri, evan, chels, terrell, and cam i would have just fallen into myself. but i am trying and for now that is the best i can do. well now that i am starting to feel a bit better i just want all of those out there that i love and hang out with i am always here for you when you need me. i never want you to think that i don't care because i always will. just please don't forget about me during the process.

mo