i don't know what to do. i keep getting so easily frustrated with people and i don't know why. i have prayed to god to help me and nothing is doing it. i was doing pretty good this week then last night it all went to pot. i no longer know what to do. i don't want to lose friends over something like this but knowing my luck i will.
i guess i am just tired of being second best. that is what it really felt like last night. and you know i can't help it. i know i am probably not but that is what it really feels like. their is only one person i really don't feel that with and he is kind of dense. lol. but i love him anyways. and i mean i understand i am not always number one. i don't want to be but for once the people who say they are my best friends....i guess i just wish that for once it would seem that way. it always feels like their is someone better that they want to be with and that i was the second choice. like they didn't have anything better to do, no better offers came up for them. but i guess that is life. too bad it couldn't be a little easier and way easier to understand because right now i am so confused about what to do. i don't know what god wants me to do and for once i wish my mom would show she loved me instead of yelling and giving me cash. i do want a mother. not someone i see every couple of days and sometimes have a conversation with.
i don't know. i just don't want to be so unsure of everything anymore. and im being random but i got to get my thoughts out somehow and this is how i guess i will do it. maybe you will read it and maybe you won't but oh well. love you all.
4 comments:
it's not that you're second best i just didn't want to go bowling.
i am not just talking about bowling brianna. this isn't the first time.
If you have something to say to me just say it for gosh sakes. Don't skirt around it just say it to my face so we can talk about it.
you know what you want me to say it. it seems like we are going to do something then chelsea comes up with something and you ditch me for her. i always try to include chelsea in the things we do but do you guys ever include me know. but that is life and i will get over it. so yeah it hurts sometimes because especially right now i feel like i just don't measure up
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