broken heart

George Benard Shaw once wrote there are two tradgedies in life. One is to lose your hearts desire. The other is to gain it.

you know the feeling where you know something bad is going to happen and then when it does you still have a broken heart. that is pretty much how i feel. like these past couple days tyler has been acting kind of strange and i wasn't sure if it was just something going on at home or something between us. so yesterday i asked if we could just talk for a little bit after vbs and he said sure. about the time the kids have snack we were in the office and he told me that things were just simpler when we were friends and he wasn't really ready for a serious relationship right now. and i said well you know you are going to have to deal with complicated sometime and left before he could see me cry.

but being the person that i am later i went up to him and gave him a hug and said i really did want to stay friends and i hoped he did too and then things were okay. but it still hurt. it hurt really bad because for the past 4 years i have basically liked him except for a couple months here and there. so it really hurt because i finally decided to open up my heart to him and he broke into the tiniest pieces that he could.

the good thing is i have some great friends. steve has been calling me and texting me non stop and evan, brianna, and lara have been great. i don't know what i would do without such good friends. i know that things will get better because everybody keeps telling me that but it sure doesn't feel like it write now.