wishing you were here right now

this totally contradicts what I last wrote but this is what I am feeling write now so here it is.

well i guess it is just one of those days. things have been going great, but today has been a rough day. i thought i was doing just fine. but i guess this is my off day. i hope i am aloud to have one because all i want is someone i trust to let me just cry.

have you ever just needed a shoulder to cry on? have someone hug you and tell you everything will be all right? have you ever just needed someone who truly cares about you and won't make fun of you later for crying to be there? well that is about where i am at right now. the one person i wish could be here i am afraid i will scare away. i no longer no what to do. i have boxes i have to pack up, which is exactly how i want to spend my next couple of weeks. at this point i am just planning on surrounding myself with the people i care about. because i want a reason to come back. i want to be able to tell people in porltnad about the amazing friends i have in albany. and i want to be able to say that i am going to visit them. i just hope that they will still have time for me. im afraid that i won't be able to fit in anymore......and that scares me more then anything....i can't lose bri, david, ty, and evan. they are my closest friends and they are the people i turn to when something goes wrong. i am afraid what will happen when i leave. but if they really care and i really care about them...then i think it may work out. i plan on talking to them whenever i can and coming to visit as often as i can. i am going to miss them so much. i just wish i knew what they were thinking.......