alone

so i have been up here for approximately five weeks. and i have to say it has been some of the lonliest weeks in my life. i don't really have anyone to talk too except for the rare times someone calls me. onle one of my friends from albany has really kept in contace with me and i thank him so much for that. i know people are busy but i didin't think i was going to be forgotten that quickly. sometimes some of my friends from school talk to me online, well i guess i should say my old school. but i hate it. i am always down, i cry a lot. and i am not proud of it. i can't wait for spring break because i get to go down to albany for the week. i think the only person that really cares is tyler. i don't know about evan, and brianna and i never talk anymore. she is either at golf or at chelsea's church or wherever. it just feels like i have lost all of the people i really care about. but i guess that is life. i wish moving was a lot easier. as i am writing this i feel selfish. there are so many people out there that have it worse off then i do. but i just can't seem to get better. i really wish i knew what to do because at the moment i feel like i am falling deeper and deeper in to a whole and i can't get out. i just need me friends back and i wish they knew how much i missed them. but right now they are so caught up in the things they have to do to really care. and i love them to death and always will, but that doesn't mean things will get any better anytime soon. all i can do is pray which i really need to do. i have been pulling myself away from the person i used to be and have become this girl who always wonders what could have been. i guess i just need to find the good things out of this situation. because it isn't going to get any better. but i have to go. break is about over. i love everyone who reads this. well atleast if you are my friend i do. maybe someone can help me one day.